Conversations With My Inner Critic #1
- You’re never gonna do it.
- Never gonna do what?
- Write that book you want to.
- Oh. Why not?
- You’re not good enough.
- Why am I not good enough?
- You don’t write everyday.
- I don’t write everyday?
- No. You just sit there, thinking it all up inside your head, but you never get it down on paper.
- I see. And that means I won't be good enough to write a book?
- No. Yes. Yes, it means that no, you won’t be good enough.
- Okay. So what do you propose I do, then?
- Write something else?
- Something else?
- Yes. Something better.
- But how can it be better if I don’t write at all?
- You just gotta change.
- Change?
- Yes.
- Change how?
- Change into a better person.
- Someone else than I already am?
- Yes.
- But I can’t do that.
- But you have to.
- But that’s impossible. I am me. I will never be anything else.
- But you could try.
- You know, I did. Remember?
- I suppose.
- Remember how that went?
- You got depressed and ended up hating yourself, and thinking everyone else hated you too.
- Exactly.
- So don’t change then.
- I don’t think I want to.
- But you gotta be better!
- Why do I gotta be better? I’m just fine the way I am. I’m not a worse person for not writing what you think I should write.
- You’re not?
- No. Just the opposite, in fact.
- How so?
- I am unique. We both are. And I think we’re better off co-operating with each other, rather than sabotaging each other. Don’t you?
- But -
- Yes?
- I - I feel like - like we should be -
- Running away?
- Well - sort of.
- Running away from the fear and the pressure we’re putting on ourselves?
- Yes.
- Reacting to that fear as if it was a universal truth, and we had no choice but to obey it?
- Yes.
- I get it. I understand why you feel that way. I just - I suppose we’ve been running away for a while.
- Well, we have.
- We have. And it hasn’t been so cool, has it?
- I guess not.
- No. And since I don’t wanna run away - do you?
- I guess not.
- Perhaps we should try - staying put? Sitting in a little?
- Feeling the feelings?
- Feeling the feelings.
- I suppose you’re right.
- Are you scared?
- I - yes.
- I know. It’s all right. You don’t have to be alone anymore.
- I don’t?
- No. Imma sit with you now. From now on.
- Oh. That - it’s -
- Weird?
- Feels - awkward.
- I get it.
- Yeah. I guess you do.
- It’s not a problem.
- What isn’t?
- You being afraid. It’s not a problem.
- It’s not?
- No. You can be scared. I’ll be here.
- But -
- Yes?
- I - I don’t know how to handle that.
- It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.
- We will?
- Yes.
- And you won’t be mad?
- I won’t.
- But -
- Yes?
- You always get mad.
- I know. But I won’t anymore. Getting mad never helped us.
- No. It didn’t.
- I can tell you’re mad about that.
- I’m bitter.
- You’re allowed to be bitter.
- I am?
- Yes.
- Oh. I don’t - I don’t want to be bitter.
- I know.
- So - what do I do now?
- Allow yourself to be bitter.
- I - uhm, okay.
- You feeling it?
- Yes.
- Is it a good feeling?
- No.
- What is it doing to you?
- It’s making me tense. Stressed. Activated.
- So I see. What else?
- Scared. Sad. Angry. Frustrated.
- Good. Keep going.
- I wanna - I wanna cry.
- You can cry.
- *cries*
- There you are.
- I don’t - I -
- You don’t have to explain yourself. Be at ease.
- *Sobs*
- It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.
- You think so?
- I believe so. With the depts of my being.
- You’re so eloquent.
- I know. It’s a hazard.
- *chuckles*
- We’re gonna be alright, you know.
- We are?
- Yes. We are.
- And you know this?
- Of course I don’t. But I refuse to think otherwise.
- Because it’s self-defeat?
- Because if we give up before we’ve even started, we’ll never get anywhere.
- I suppose that’s true.
- I believe so.
- So now what?
- What do you wanna do?
- I kinda wanna - keep writing.
- Good. Let’s go do that then.
- Even with the fear?
- «Write scared.»
- Write scared?
- It’s a saying in the writing community.
- Oh. I didn’t know that.
- You didn’t?
- No.
.- Hm. I was so sure you knew.
- I didn’t.
- That’s my mistake. Perhaps I put too much pressure on you, too.
- You think?
- You feel that I do?
- Sometimes.
- I don’t mean to.
- I know you don’t.
- It’s hard to be human, isn’t it.
- It’s no game for wusses, that’s for sure.
- But we’re not, are we?
- Have you ever felt like a wuss?
- No.
- Me neither.
- See? We’re better at this than we think.
- Are we?
- I think so.
- Maybe we are.
- I definitely think we are.
- So - we try to write now?
- I believe so.
- What do we write?
- What do we need to write?
- I - I don’t know.
- So maybe first we figure out what’s on our minds, then.
- Maybe.
- What do you feel like writing?
- Never gonna do what?
- Write that book you want to.
- Oh. Why not?
- You’re not good enough.
- Why am I not good enough?
- You don’t write everyday.
- I don’t write everyday?
- No. You just sit there, thinking it all up inside your head, but you never get it down on paper.
- I see. And that means I won't be good enough to write a book?
- No. Yes. Yes, it means that no, you won’t be good enough.
- Okay. So what do you propose I do, then?
- Write something else?
- Something else?
- Yes. Something better.
- But how can it be better if I don’t write at all?
- You just gotta change.
- Change?
- Yes.
- Change how?
- Change into a better person.
- Someone else than I already am?
- Yes.
- But I can’t do that.
- But you have to.
- But that’s impossible. I am me. I will never be anything else.
- But you could try.
- You know, I did. Remember?
- I suppose.
- Remember how that went?
- You got depressed and ended up hating yourself, and thinking everyone else hated you too.
- Exactly.
- So don’t change then.
- I don’t think I want to.
- But you gotta be better!
- Why do I gotta be better? I’m just fine the way I am. I’m not a worse person for not writing what you think I should write.
- You’re not?
- No. Just the opposite, in fact.
- How so?
- I am unique. We both are. And I think we’re better off co-operating with each other, rather than sabotaging each other. Don’t you?
- But -
- Yes?
- I - I feel like - like we should be -
- Running away?
- Well - sort of.
- Running away from the fear and the pressure we’re putting on ourselves?
- Yes.
- Reacting to that fear as if it was a universal truth, and we had no choice but to obey it?
- Yes.
- I get it. I understand why you feel that way. I just - I suppose we’ve been running away for a while.
- Well, we have.
- We have. And it hasn’t been so cool, has it?
- I guess not.
- No. And since I don’t wanna run away - do you?
- I guess not.
- Perhaps we should try - staying put? Sitting in a little?
- Feeling the feelings?
- Feeling the feelings.
- I suppose you’re right.
- Are you scared?
- I - yes.
- I know. It’s all right. You don’t have to be alone anymore.
- I don’t?
- No. Imma sit with you now. From now on.
- Oh. That - it’s -
- Weird?
- Feels - awkward.
- I get it.
- Yeah. I guess you do.
- It’s not a problem.
- What isn’t?
- You being afraid. It’s not a problem.
- It’s not?
- No. You can be scared. I’ll be here.
- But -
- Yes?
- I - I don’t know how to handle that.
- It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.
- We will?
- Yes.
- And you won’t be mad?
- I won’t.
- But -
- Yes?
- You always get mad.
- I know. But I won’t anymore. Getting mad never helped us.
- No. It didn’t.
- I can tell you’re mad about that.
- I’m bitter.
- You’re allowed to be bitter.
- I am?
- Yes.
- Oh. I don’t - I don’t want to be bitter.
- I know.
- So - what do I do now?
- Allow yourself to be bitter.
- I - uhm, okay.
- You feeling it?
- Yes.
- Is it a good feeling?
- No.
- What is it doing to you?
- It’s making me tense. Stressed. Activated.
- So I see. What else?
- Scared. Sad. Angry. Frustrated.
- Good. Keep going.
- I wanna - I wanna cry.
- You can cry.
- *cries*
- There you are.
- I don’t - I -
- You don’t have to explain yourself. Be at ease.
- *Sobs*
- It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.
- You think so?
- I believe so. With the depts of my being.
- You’re so eloquent.
- I know. It’s a hazard.
- *chuckles*
- We’re gonna be alright, you know.
- We are?
- Yes. We are.
- And you know this?
- Of course I don’t. But I refuse to think otherwise.
- Because it’s self-defeat?
- Because if we give up before we’ve even started, we’ll never get anywhere.
- I suppose that’s true.
- I believe so.
- So now what?
- What do you wanna do?
- I kinda wanna - keep writing.
- Good. Let’s go do that then.
- Even with the fear?
- «Write scared.»
- Write scared?
- It’s a saying in the writing community.
- Oh. I didn’t know that.
- You didn’t?
- No.
.- Hm. I was so sure you knew.
- I didn’t.
- That’s my mistake. Perhaps I put too much pressure on you, too.
- You think?
- You feel that I do?
- Sometimes.
- I don’t mean to.
- I know you don’t.
- It’s hard to be human, isn’t it.
- It’s no game for wusses, that’s for sure.
- But we’re not, are we?
- Have you ever felt like a wuss?
- No.
- Me neither.
- See? We’re better at this than we think.
- Are we?
- I think so.
- Maybe we are.
- I definitely think we are.
- So - we try to write now?
- I believe so.
- What do we write?
- What do we need to write?
- I - I don’t know.
- So maybe first we figure out what’s on our minds, then.
- Maybe.
- What do you feel like writing?
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